It's fun to be with old friends. Figuratively speaking, no offense intended. I had some time today to drop by my old office at De La Salle University and hand the staff my early Christmas presents. I had the opportunity to catch up with Titas Bing, Cora, Ems and Mavs. And as usual, left a bottle of brandy for the Brothers of the Taft Community. After exchanging a few awkward grins and jokes with Br. Jun Erguiza FSC, I just had to leave the office.
So I meet up with Keane over by the Animo Canteen, and he hands me a French Toast. As we walk towards the South Gate, lo and behold, Br. Armin comes stepping out of his car fresh from the Senate plenary for the confirmation of his appointment. Congratulations, bro. You can now freely address the challenges of Philippine education.
So the three of us head to the Brothers community for some small chit chat. How I've missed the Taft Community! Seeing Brothers Crisanto and Joseph Quy, and not to mention some of the community staff, made me nostalgic for my Live-In Aspirancy days. The good old days!
Come 4:00 PM, Keane and I head over to CSB - Taft Campus to meet Ms. Thea Quintos, a former Cenacle Sister. Given the chance to talk to someone who has realized that the religious life wasn't for her, I couldn't help but relate to everything she was saying. Ms. Thea, indeed, you are an inspiration!
At first, I didn't really know why we were meeting her. But sitting in her office and not noticing how the time flied made me feel absolutely inspired to trust more not only in myself, but in my God.
I would just like to share a couple of things that I've learned and reflected upon in our little 2 hour visit:
- That God was inviting her to pumalaot sa dagat or go deeper into the ocean.
- To leave our comfort zones takes great courage on venturing out into the unknown. Her life's stories of graduating from the University of the Philippines in Diliman, working for the Jesuit Volunteer Program and joining a religious congregation situated in / near Katipunan Avenue is a manifestation of how comfortable she was in the area. Her comfort zone. After years of discernment, Ms. Thea felt she was being lead to go deeper and leave that comfort zone of hers. She went to the opposite end of Metro Manila. From the convenience of Katipunan, Ms. Thea ventured out to the polluted and side-car filled streets of Taft Avenue, where she is now working as Director of Campus Ministry of CSB.
- John 10:10, "...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."
- That we were given this life to live it abundantly or to its fullest. Depending on what version of the Bible you're reading. Through the last few months of being inside the Postulancy, I was feeling that I was becoming someone else, someone I couldn't recognize. I was thinking back then that maybe I was changing for the better, that I was becoming more holier by the minute. But looking deeper into the feeling, I was seeing the old Jay dying. I was changing, and I really didn't like it. Trying to preserve what seemed to be left of me, I decided to leave. This was one way I've felt that the same God who led me into the program, was beginning to lead me out. And where is He leading me now? That, I'm just about to discover. All I know is that He would want me to live a life where I would be more effective in the things He wants me to do.
Yes La Salle is one of my comfort zones. One fear of leaving the postulancy that hit me the most, besides the realization that the Brother's life isn't an option anymore, was where the hell am I going to pick myself up when I'm on the outside? Where was I to start? What was I to do? Reorganizing myself and planning for my future was the thing to do. I still wanted to be with La Salle. Not because of its prestige, and not just the fact that I wanted to give back, but because it was my comfort zone. And now the question is dawning on me again. Does God want me to be somewhere else, doing something different?
A reason of leaving the Postulancy was family, another reason was the difficulty of letting go of my personal dreams. So is God leading me back to San Diego? Or would He still want to use me here in the Philippines?
Its been conversations like this that I've been missing truly while I was inside. Thank you, Ms. Thea. You've helped me "come back" to believing that life is a continuous journey of discerning God's will. I pray that La Salle would be blessed with more lay partners like you.
After CSB, Keane and I head to Greenhills for dinner. We try the Chinese restaurant we always used to pass by but never thought of entering. Crystal Jade La Mian Xiao Long Bao was packed with hungry-Chinese-Christmas-Shoppers.
After over hearing some guy at 48 Steak House at our village in Santiago City, I just had to try the Salted Duck. It was good, but nothing to rave over. I don't think I would find myself craving for it and coming back for another serving, though. Then Keane and I split over some La Mian or Noodles with Dried Shrimp and Peanuts in Spicy Sauce and some Xiao Long Pao or Steamed Soupy Pork Dumpling (best eaten while they're still hot). These two are best sellers and are worth coming back for.
Appetizer: Nanjing Salted Duck Php 180.00
La Mian Si Chuan Style Php 250.00
Xiao Long Pao Php150.00
Yes I did have an awesome dinner, but the best way to feed a soul is to spend good time with loved ones, in this case, with good friends. To follow your heart and heed its desires. To be happy in everything you do. And above all, to acknowledge that God is always with you.
